Where Play Meets Potential
It’s the infamous clean-up time, oh no!
Let me set the scene for you. It has been a day full of independent play and there are toys scattered around every room in the house. You really want to teach your child independence and responsibility so you ask them politely to help pick up the toys.
You get a matter of fact “No” response. Hmmm, it’s the end of the day and you want to move on to the bedtime routine. You now demand they help clean up. This is their mess after all.
You are met with a massive meltdown. You give up, take your child to bed and clean up the rest when they are asleep.
Oh mama, I feel you! I’ve had similar nights.
Toddlers are tricky and picking up their toys is not something they naturally want to do. I mean do any of us truly enjoy clean-up time? Well, I do love some organization time to be honest, but cleaning up toys is not what I consider fun.
In all transparency, I often struggle with clean-up time. Ruby is just like any other toddler. She refuses to clean up, she has meltdowns and throws tantrums, she says “no,” but every so often she helps during clean-up time and it makes me so proud.
I have put together some tips for clean-up time that have worked either at home or in the classroom. You may try one of these tips and find that it is not successful at all. Let me suggest that you try the other tips, or come back to it at another time. Sometimes a certain tip will be more successful one time and not another.
Before you move on to any of the tips I have found for you today, be sure you look around and make sure you don’t have an overwhelming amount of toys for your child to choose. A chaotic environment with too many toys can lead them to play with a toy for less than a minute and then toss it to the floor. If this is the case for you, I highly suggest starting a toy rotation.
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How would a bear clean up?
What about a snake?
Can you pick up all the red things?
Can you put your baby to sleep?
Can you drive the car to its parking spot?
Toddlers are much more willing to help when they can actually play while putting their things away. Think about their interests and then work it into cleaning up.
For Ruby, she loves pretend play, especially her baby dolls. So, when I ask her to put them to sleep, she immediately puts them in their crib, covers them up, kisses them goodnight, and then is willing to put other toys “to sleep.”
How fast can you clean up?
How many toys can you pick up?
Can you pick up more than me?
Let’s see if we can beat the timer!
Toddlers love to be the biggest, fastest, best. So, capitalize on that trait by making clean-up time a race.
This really worked well in a classroom setting because they wanted to be faster and clean up more than their peers. If you have siblings at home, this tip might work well for you.
If you don’t have siblings you can still ask them to be faster than you or a timer. Visual timers are great for this age group.
I ask our Amazon Alexa to play the clean-up song and I love the one she plays by the Kiboomers. It goes something like this:
“Now it’s time to clean up.
Now it’s time to clean up.
We had a lot of fun, but now that it’s all done
Now it’s time to clean up.
Girls and boys, put away your toys
Now it’s time to clean up”
Of course you can also make up your own clean-up song. Bonus points if you can somehow mix their name into the song.
This tip often backfires on us though. Ruby ends up dancing to the song instead of cleaning up, but hey you win some you lose some and at least we have some entertainment while cleaning up.
Narrate as you explain what needs to happen “we need to clean up so we have room to play/don’t trip over toys/so it doesn’t feel cluttered/etc.”
Invite them to join instead of forcing or demanding that they need to clean-up. Threats of throwing away all their toys if they don’t clean them up are rarely successful. If you force they will just resist even more and a bigger tantrum could occur.
Modeling is a much better way to support their sense of responsibility and respect for their belongings. Children watch what we do much more than they listen to what say.
Pick up during transitions or after they are done working with something instead of at the end of the day. This breaks it down to manageable chunks. When they feel small successes throughout the day, they are more willing to help the next time.
This is one that I am currently trying out. It is working well for us. Ruby has shown much more interest in cleaning up when there are only a few things she needs to pick up.
I was lazy at first and would leave all the cleaning up for the end of the day and it made it a nightmare to clean all the toys scattered around all parts of the house. It also added stress because it was bedtime so we were all exhausted.
Trust me breaking it up may feel like you are cleaning all day long, but you will get more help and it does feel less stressful.
Breaking clean-up time into more specific directions helps. Instead of using blanket statements like “It’s time to put away all your toys,” try to be more specific and give one or two directions at a time.
This clean-up time tip has been successful with Ruby. She is much more willing to clean up when I give her something specific to clean up. Of course it does sometimes backfire and I get a “no” response. That’s when I move to the next tip.
“Do you want to help put the blocks or the play food away?”
“What do you want to pick up first, the doll or the books?”
“Which shape will you put away first in the puzzle, the circle or the square?”
“Mommy or Ruby picks up the cars?”
Try to be specific with your choices and narrow them down to one or two things. Sometimes it works to give a large choice like “Which toy would you like to put away first?” But other times, you need to give a “this” or “that” kind of choice.
With young children it is best to mix it up so you keep them on their toes. If you are always providing them with a certain type of choice, they might get bored or decide they don’t want to play your game. So, give choices, but also keep it fresh.
We have already learned that forcing or threatening does not help during clean-up time. Toddlers enjoy having control and when they feel you’ve taken that away they feel powerless and will begin to resist any direction you give.
“If”is a qualifier. If you do this, then you get that. It is a way to control behavior through rewards and punishment.
First/then statements, on the other hand, explain what needs to happen. It is a way to use logical and natural consequences.
If they want to watch TV, but they don’t clean up then you would repeat the direction and the consequence would come naturally. They understand that they don’t get to watch TV until their things are cleaned up. They have the power to control the outcome.
It will be very important for you to set boundaries and maintain them. Stay consistent and always follow through.
By using First/Then statements instead of if/then, you give them the power and it often motivates them to help.
“If you don’t clean up there will be no TV tonight”
or
“If you don’t clean up I will donate all your toys”
or even what you think sounds a bit nicer
“If you don’t clean up we won’t have anywhere to play.”
First we clean up, then we can watch TV.
First, we need to clean up, then we can go outside.
First we clean up, then we will have room to play with the blocks.
Was this helpful? What tip are you going to try next? What other tips have you tried with success? Tell me in the comments below. Seriously, I need more for my toddler toolbox.
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It’s the infamous clean-up time, oh no! Let me set the scene for you. It has been a day full of independent play and there are toys scattered around every room in the house. You really want to teach your child independence and responsibility so